End.

I thought it would be really easy to write this last piece but having spent a few weeks adjusting to the old routine of work and home I am still struggling to come to a conclusion about my time in Malawi. The most frustrating thing for me, looking back at the few entries I did get to write during my time away, is the sheer volume of things omitted and the brevity of things I did mention, simply because I was always in such a rush.

I barely scratched the surface of the problems in Malawi. Volunteers will come and go every month and project coordinators will struggle to give the people of Malawi some kind of continuity. Nothing I did there was life changing for the people, the problems remain the same and someone else will have taken my place yesterday evening as the new arrivals settle into Namakoma. I may have brought some happiness to a few children for a few hours and cleaned up a few wounds but the extent of the problems is just never-ending.

If I could do it again, I’d go for longer, I’d spend less time thinking about home and I would be more forceful when I thought there was more I/we could do. I wouldn't have just said there was a problem with a boy in Chilombo who never smiled, I would have taken someone from the project to his door, someone who could translate. I wouldn't have left confused about his situation, who he lived with, what family he did have, what happened to the family he didn't have – I would have made sure I found out and fully understood. I would have taken one of the qualified volunteers to check him over and only then left knowing I had done everything within my power to help him.

I can forgive myself a little, knowing it was my first time doing anything like this. I was nervous and in the very beginning I was out of my depth, I didn't know how to push what I could have done to help. It is so easy to say this now, with hindsight. But at least now I know when, not if, I go back, I will make better and quicker decisions and I will be of more help to the Calvin’s and Grace’s of Malawi.