making it to malawi...

Some time on...

2011-03-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

So much has changed in my life since I returned from Malawi. I came back with the confidence to find a new job and make steps towards a new future. I am now studying Childhood Studies in Leeds, living with Will and seeing my family and friends at home when I can.

I went over what I said in my end blog and I have to say, some of those feelings really washed away after a year or two. It's terribly sad but I have to be completely honest. Things do get to me more than they did, I do not feel that same sense of relaxation and appreciation for my own life. But it's definitely there, in the back of my mind, it's accessible at least. You come back from a place like Malawi and you either get on with your own life or you start making plans to go back straight away.

With me, I busied myself making changes. I have four months off this summer and know that I must use it to get back to a place like this. The events in Japan over the last few days were a reminder that we must always be grateful for everything we've got.

I chose my degree based solely on the children I met in Malawi and a need to get back to them some day. I guess they changed my life, more than I will ever change theirs.

End.

2009-11-03T03:58:00.000-08:00

I thought it would be really easy to write this last piece but having spent a few weeks adjusting to the old routine of work and home I am still struggling to come to a conclusion about my time in Malawi.

The most frustrating thing for me, looking back at the few entries I did get to write during my time away, is the sheer volume of things ommited and the brevity of things I did mention, simply because I was always in such a rush.

The biggest thing for me is realising just how stressed out planning the trip had made me. I feel now like I have shed about six skins of anxiety and am less worried about pretty much everything in my life. Now that I have seen a different world I can easily say I will never get quite as worked up about things as I have done in the past because now I will always know, things could always be worse. Realistically that might not last forever as normal life resumes but I will try and hold on to it for as long as I can.

I barely scratched the surface of the problems in Malawi. Volunteers will come and go every month and project coordinators will struggle to give the people of Malawi some kind of continuity. Nothing I did there was life changing for the people, the problems remain the same and somone else will have taken my place yesterday evening as the new arrivals settle into Namakoma. I may have brought some happiness to a few children for a few hours and cleaned up a few wounds but the extent of the problems is just never-ending. I don’t know if it’s wrong to say, that I can’t see Africa, ever being anything but third world.

If I could do it again, I’d go for longer, I’d spend less time thinking about home and I would be more forceful when I thought there was more I/we could do. I wouldn’t have just said there was a problem with a boy in Chilombo who never smiled, I would have taken one of the guys from the project to his door, someone who could translate. I wouldn’t have been confused about his situation, who he lived with, what family he did have, what happened to the family he didn’t have – I would have made sure I found out and fully understood. I would have taken one of the qualified volunteers to check him over and only then left knowing I had done everything within my power to help him.

I can forgive myself a little, knowing it was my first time doing anything like this. I was nervous and I was out of my depth and I didn’t know how to push what I could have done to help. It is so easy to say this now, with hindsight. But at least now I know when, not if, I go back, I will make better and quicker decisions and I will be of more help to the Kevin’s and Grace’s of Malawi.

Final days...

2009-10-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Wawa! So my final night in Malawi is upon us and it has been a really lovely if not painfully hot couple of days. We had four new arrivals yesterday and said our goodbyes to Anna and Josh.

Yesterday I was at Chilombo orphanage on my own as Gill caught the sore throat virusy thing I have been harbouring. Esnart spent most of the morning dissapearing so the teaching was a bit hit and miss and the kids ran riot as always. We carried on with learning the time and the usual songs and rhymes that they know. We have adapted ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ to ‘The Wheels on the Matola’ and they seem to enjoy that, they join in when they can and mostly just like anything with actions.
In the afternoon I was at the wound clinic which was another non-event, no patients, sweltering heat but I did get to say my goodbyes to Dr Mkanda and a photo with him which is brilliant.

Today I was at Chilombo again and me and Therese threw a very good party if I might say so. It was her idea to make each of them friendship bracelet out of the wool we had kicking about in the resources room. We made maybe just fewer than 50 and luckily we had maybe 45 children turn up so we estimated just right. I wasn’t enjoying the actual making of the bracelets last night but it was all part of the fun in the end. We took crisps and biscuits for party food and they absolutely loved that. It must have been a real treat for them after their porridge.

John took me to Kevin’s house who in actual fact is called Calvin....! I only found out when I asked Esnart to write down his address for him, which is pretty silly, now everyone at MVO and everyone at home knows this little boy as Kevin and I FIRST knew him as Gavin...nightmare! So, CALVIN was off sick today so I went to his house and was introduced to his grandmother which is even more confusing as I was also told he lived with an old man. Felicity said this is a common occurence to get a few different stories because they call different people and relatives different things. Still doesn’t make his situation ideal and I may never know exactly what his situation is...but I gave him his toy truck and his grandmother told him I was going back to England which he seemed very sad about. He barely uttered a word even today after meeting with him so many times, I wonder if he ever actually speaks! He followed me and John back to orphanage and the other kids were very interested in his new toy especially Esnart’s son, Vinnie, is THE queen bee if ever I saw one, he was most unimpressed this new toy did not belong to him.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye and I did head back there in the afternoon to say a final goodbye after Esnart’s english lesson but everyone in the village had been called to a meeting with the chief, something about fertiliser I don’t know, so the lesson was also a non-starter. I trudged off back up to the road and it really was the hottest I’ve ever felt it today. On the way I bumped into Esnart’s 17 year old nephew, Andrew and he took me on a tour of Chilombo, he walked me along the beach and there are some incredible looking holiday homes hidden along there, it was pretty surreal.

Andrew is very sweet, he is very smart and has a lot going for him but as the story seems to always seem to go, the odds are stacked against him. He has lost both of his parents but seems to have a large extended family in the village. I met his great grandmother and by Africa standards she must be ancient, basically she is so old she can’t walk now which is pretty sad. I asked her name and Andrew explained he did not know because he had always called her grandma....ha! He is very creative and makes brilliant things out of bottle lids. He turned up today with a bag he has made for me out of a pair of jeans and it is amazing. I will treasure it forever, it is a real work of art considering his lack of resources. He also showed me a photo book a previous volunteer must have had made and sent to him. He had taken all the photos and some of them were stunning I was so impressed.

So this evening I am having a drink, listening to a meeting about dressing wounds and everything is packed and ready to go. I wish I could skip from leaving here to being at Heathrow without the tedious hours of travelling inbetween.

Tomorrow I will leave MVO house at 5:30 am and head to Blantyre with Francis. He is taking me to a place called Game where I can buy some toys for Chilombo with my donations. I have also commited myself to providing the much needed shelter for them during the rainy season. As I’ve probably mentioned before this orphanage is just held in Esnart’s back garden with no shelter and very little shade when it’s hot which at the moment is literally from 7am onwards.

The shelter will be up by November in time for the rains and will give Esnart a real place to teach and will be a real boost for the community.

I will take away so much from this place. Knowing that my donations actually physically provided something urgently needed is a fantastic way to finish here.

I will remember my first day at Monkey Bay orphanage with Wyson. My first night watching The Lion King and drinking Special Brew and wondering if things would ever be this surreal again. I will remember that moment being topped when listening to filthy house music on full blast in the front garden with a load of locals on cultural night. I will ALWAYS remember the dehydrated babies and their lack of or empty drips...the hoards of pregnant women and young girls. I will also remember Therese’s near lapdance, another from cultural night. I will remember 24 hours of vomiting...Anna and Nick’s near death experience with our hippo friends. I will remember Gibson’s laugh and just Joseph alone and Elson’s ridiculous six pack. I will remember mine and Anna’s boat ride and our hysterical death defying bike ride. I will remember the first time I went to Namakoma and how the singing was so good I had to hold back tears. I will remember the confusion with Esnart over who was teaching who. I will remember rounds and fantas and greens and nsima and goat and shake shake and blue plastic bags of chips for fifty kwacha. I will remember frisbee in the lake and baking hot walks to wound clinic. I will remember Dr Mkandas laugh and the stories of the premature baby and the children he had lost...I will remember Mazungu Mazunge Jambule Jambule! I will remember taking over the dj booth in hiccups and drinking Eclipse from a plastic bottle and free champagne and somehow not throwing up. I will remember elephants and hippos and the lone buffalo at Liwonde. I will remember the hippo we collided with in the boat and our Hansel and Gretel lodgings. I will remember Benji and Simba and the duck rape. I will remember David arriving with his brilliant laugh and somehow remembering how to play chess after all these years. I will remember pink and blue jobs and sunset cruises. The kids I will remember Grace, Buddha, Chisomo and Ibu the big boss at Monkey Bay. Irene and Edwin at Namakoma and all my favourites at Chilombo, my second home: Gertrude, the twins, Tait and Bertha, Eunice and her amazing smile, Fanny and Esther – girls with attitude, Vinnie, another big boss and of course Gavin/Kevin/Calvin/ whatever his name is!

– there are so so so many Calvins in Malawi...

Three days left...

2009-10-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I said my goodbyes to Namakoma orphanage with a sports day hosted by myself and Anna. I say sports day but we use the term pretty loosely with children that age!

We had a bottle lid and spoon race, an egg hunt, a sack race and a three legged race that never quite made it off the ground....

All in all the kids liked it and I've only been there three times since I arrived so yesterday wasn't so sad when we left. There is one little girl called Irene who has lost both parents and she definitely has some kind of learning disability or something - she doesn't really communicate is very aggressive and is well behind her peers in terms of her behaviour. She's the size of a regular three year old but seems very much like a young baby still. I don't think mental impairment has much understanding out here so she is in for a tough ride. The other kids bully her at the moment but Mark (one of the co ordinators here) said the kids do have a tendancy to protect others like her as they get older. It is hard to determine what is wrong with the kids here. You notice somethings now quite right but it could be anything, learning disability, mental illness, brain damage from a high fever, trauma...

I will miss the kids more than anything else. I have given Grace a bracelet to keep and I have hundreds and hundreds of photos to put up when I get back to England.

Last night we had a cultural night which basically consists of inviting the village into the grounds, having a goat roast and trying out nsima and lots and lots of dancing. The traditional dancing in Malawi is done by the men alongside a lot of drumming, the dancers are terrifying....!

I was pretty ill last night and ended up having to miss half the dancing. I have been feeling pretty grim all week and last night I was in bed by eight and not feeling much better now. Can't really complain after everything I've seen here though, feels pretty wrong to do so. Just tomorrow left to hang around the house and then my final goodbyes on Monday and Tuesday of which most of my time will be spent at Chilombo village. My hunt for Kevin begins.

I will be so sad to leave this place. Four weeks is just the point where you really begin to get to know individuals and start forming a relationship, if I were to come back, without a doubt I'd be here for two or three months. I will always wonder what I could have learnt about the kids I've just started to form a bond with if I had more time and what more I could have done for them...

Tionana...

Monkey Bay Hospital.

2009-10-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today I was working at Monkey Bay Hospital, we are limited by what we can do whether we are qualified or not. So basically it means doing blood pressures with broken stethescopes, weighing people on broken scales and taking temperatures with faulty thermometers...

The wards were not actually as busy as normal today and I spend my time in maternity and paediatrics...it is incredible what the women here do and I don't know how the patients that survive actually do so. Put it this way, I wont be moaning about the NHS EVER AGAIN!

The women come in to give birth in huge numbers, they give birth in a small room....together, there are two beds so if more than two are in labour they are on the floor. They give birth without drugs, usually without supervision and without making a sound. It is the most undignified thing I have ever seen but they never ever complain.

The kids don't complain in the childrens ward, they just sleep and lie there very still no matter how bad they feel. There were babies admitted with severe dehydration yet weren't attached to any fluids. Those lucky enough to be on drips were empty anyway...

There is a new maternity wing being built so they are hoping to encourage the fathers to be with their wives during labour and birth. This is not common currently and I did not see a single pregnant woman with a man and trust me there were hundreds, most of them as young as seventeen and certainly not on their first child. It is a million miles from what we know. But I don't think there is any changing it. The staff at the hospital weren't horrible, I don't think it is possible for a Malawian to BE horrible but they didn't seem to happy about us being there. Maybe it is a bit patronising of the Mazungus to think we know better than them when they have leaved and breathed this...

Luckily I survived the morning without a death, they had lost a baby shortly before we began I think, it is harder for the volunteers with vast medical knowledge because they are watching people die who could be treated very easily in the West.

There are people there quite literally just waiting to die...there is nothing more that can be done with them.

But at least the people here are trying, a poorly equipped hospital is better than no hospital at all...

This afternoon I was teaching a HBC class in Namakoma village, this is what we call Home Based Care. People are selected from each village to come to classes and they learn basic first aid and biology etc and they can then learn about illness and disease and how they can treat it. So few people can actually reach a hospital that by giving someone within the village some medical knowledge, the villagers stand a much better chance of surviving whatever they come down with.

Yesterday I managed to see Grace, she was back at school and although a little subdued she was feeling better. I'm not sure if she had malaria as they tend to just label any illness as malaria over here but none the less I am relieved she returned. I am dreading the day a child does not come back...Kevin has been absent from Chilombo orphanage for two days now...

Tionana...

Hardest day...

2009-09-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today has definitely been my hardest so far. This morning I was back at Monkey Bay orphanage and happily awaiting the arrival of the children when Wyson mentioned that Grace had been taken to hospital with malaria. He was so blase about it I thought he was just messing around but he did pop over to her house and came back saying she was feeling better and may be back at school tomorrow. I am going there again tomorrow for sports day with Anna so if she doesn't show I will go round and see her aunt and see if she really is ok.

Yesterday I was back at Chilombo orphanage and I noticed a toddler called Kevin sitting very quietly and looking very sad. I'm sure he has been there the other times I've taught there but I've not paid him any attention before because some of the smaller ones are genuinely scared of us because we are white and we leave them to the Malawian teachers to deal with and look after. I couldn't help but notice that there was a different degree of sadness to this one so I sat close to him and held his hand for a while. Gradually his grip got tighter and tighter and very slowly he started leaning into me and was eventually just draped across my lap. He didn't make any noise at all and I don't think he ever has done apart from to cry. His eyes are permanently fixed on the ground...

I asked the teacher, Esnart why he was so sad and she said because he had no parents and lived with an old man, she also said he is sick - his belly is very swollen so clearly very malnourished. All the kids are malnourished, some more than others but this one looks particularly bad and the other bad cases are certainly not as subdued. He looks completely traumatised and I suppose if he has lost both his parents he may well be. Over here, living with an old man is not good for young children, he is clearly desparately starved off affection and it was heartbreaking when I had to leave, he was hysterical, tried to follow me and it took two people to pull him away from me.

So today I was back with Esnart giving her my usual Tuesday afternoon English lesson and I tend to try and have just a general conversation with her at first because it gives me a better idea of how her spoken English is. I asked about Kevin and she told me a bit about him but said that his mum had died, his dad was away or had been arrested and that he actually had malaria as well. Two in one day.

She then took me to his house. She checked the old man was not there first and I'm not entirely sure why which worries me because I MUST go back to get more information, he needs medical attention asap.

There were young adults milling around the house and I think, but am not sure, that the girl looks after Kevin during the day while the old man is out farming. More and more people came to have a nose at the visiting Mazungu and they were all laughing because it is well known that Kevin is very sad, they said he has NEVER smiled...

Inevitably I had to leave and he cried and cried and cried, no one even picked him up when I left - this isn't really a comforting culture and the older kids, even the five year olds are unbelieveably tough so you can see how they differ from kids back home.

I told Felicity, one of the co ordinators here about him and she is hopefully going to get me back there to find out more about him. I asked if he'd ever been to hospital or had medicine and I got a load of no's in return, I don't think they understood that I would physically take him there myself if need be. So I hope to see him at least twice before I come back home and see what can be done, his situation needs drastic improvement but sadly, so does most peoples...I literally cannot describe how sad he looks, normally we can coax a smile out of the young ones who are just scared but this one - nothing, I wish I'd realised he wasn't just scared and actually very sick sooner so I could have done something. I feel awful even when I do see him because I just add to the trauma he seems to be going through when it is time to leave. I did not think it physically possible for a child to look so sad...

Tomorrow I will check up on Grace and in the afternoon try and get cover for the wound clinic so I can head back to Chilombo, ideally with a translator in tow so something can be done for Kevin. My heart will actually break when I leave him.

One week left in Malawi.

Tionana.....

Cape Maclear

2009-09-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend I have been having a break in Cape Maclear, this place is absolutely beautiful, we took the boat and sailed there which took a good few hours and we stopped half way there for a swim. We stayed at Fat Monkeys in dorm rooms which we shared with a girl from Belgium called Ellen. The rooms had hot water - first hot shower in three weeks...felt amazing!

So Friday night we kind of just hung out there and got on the Hunters Gold. There was another girl called Jodie who had adopted a puppy from the bar, she found people giving her alcohol and hash so paid them 3000 kwacha to take her away and get her seen by a vet. She is now well and very attached to Jodie, she renamed her Hasha...

We played silly games on Friday night and David and I stayed up talking about work - he is a paramedic and has some pretty good stories about patients! Everyone was in bed by 11am - textbook Malawi times.

Saturday morning we went out on the boat, had lunch on it and went snorkelling which was a first for me, I have yet to jump off the roof of the boat though. We picked up some fresh fish from a local in his canoe and threw them into the water to watch sea eagles swoop down and catch them and it was a truely amazing sight.

Swimming always exhausts me so for the rest of the day we just stayed at the bar and then in the evening we moved on to a really beautiful bar called Gecko's along the beach and then on to a party at Hiccups where I had a go at laptop djing because the guys working there couldnt actually use a mouse pad so the music wasn't exactly working out very well!

It is safe to say we all got pretty smashed and I have no idea when or how I got to bed, those top bunks are HIGH!

So today was just one big fat hangover and sitting on the boats roof didnt work out too well for me, three hours on a boat and a tummy full of petrol tasting shots is never going to make for great times. I still feel like I'm on the boat now, it's not a nice feeling at all.

So tomorrow is back to reality and work. I will be at Chilombo orphanage again in the morning and this is the time we start to say our goodbyes so am feeling very sad. It is Maxi's last night tonight so we will be up at 6am to see her off and I am gutted she is going, such a lovely girl :) I hope we can go to Oktoberfest next year.

I am off to go and read now and have an early night to shake off the party blues. I can't believe this is more or less my last week, I bought so many presents today from the beach boys, I am getting pretty good at bartering and I will have lots to trade with them next weekend before I leave as I don't need to take a lot of stuff home.

Still missing everyone loads - tionana xxxxxxx

I got happy pants made for me and Will - everyone in Malawi wears them, oh and also there were sooooo many Mazaungus at Fat Monkeys, it was very strange!

Third week down...

2009-09-24T09:20:00.001-07:00

I have done so much since I last wrote that I'm not sure where to begin and pretty sure I will forget a lot of things. I'll start with today and work back, that's the only plan I have!

So today I was on the malaria project again and we were handing out nets in Namakoma village which means walking round the houses and treating their nets and waiting for them to dry before they can be hung up in the houses. It was absolutely exhausting but worthwhile all the same.

This afternoon I was going to my first Home-based care project but it was cancelled and they were concentrating on the beginning of a new HIV group in Namgoma which was basically lots of singing and dancing and some drama and being swarmed by kids which was great fun. The HIV groups gives somewhere for victims to learn about their condition and feel safe about being open about it - that is a pretty brave thing to be able to do over here and I think we rarely get men attending as they do not want to be known as carriers.

Yesterday I had another sports day at Monkey Bay Orphanage which again consisted of getting all the orphans fed and then throwing them in the lake! It was yesterday that I noticed one of my favourites, Grace, had not turned up and I mentioned this to Wyson, their teacher. He said she lived next door so he took me there and I met her aunt, she was running late because Grace was having a bath - I learnt then that as I feared she had lost both parents.

It was a real blow to have it confirmed but I should have been prepared for it really. This week has been the toughest emotionally because I am getting to know people better. I do not want to know if Taiti, another favourite at Chilombo Orphanage has lost one or two parents but I expect I will be told either way eventually.

I found todays HIV group really overwhelming as well, it was the first time I properly had to compose myself to stop from crying but I'm not really sure what started it. I had so many children around me and one looked very sad that we were leaving and then I had to take myself away fairly quickly because I don't think it's ideal for them to see people crying!

Earlier this week we went on a boat cruise for Izzy's birthday and we watched the sunset. I can't remember if I wrote about poker night and my camera being broken but anyway I am still waiting to hear back from some friend of someones brother of Gibson the drivers blah blah blah as to whether it can be fixed. I'm not getting my hopes up but it would be nice to have my camera rather than having to use the one on my phone all weekend while we're in Cape Maclear. We are hearing there tomorrow afternoon and we are taking the boat instead of going by road which should take about four hours.

I am hoping to buy some toys when I leave for Chilombo orphanage as they really have nothing there and some of the kids are just toddlers and do not always understand fully the english we are teaching the older ones, I think they would like to play with toys, they get easily distracted when we try and do a 45 minute lesson with them.

Me and Anna convinced Elson, the boat guy, to take us out on the speed boat and he took great delight in trying to fling us out the sides by changing direction at ridiculous speeds and then he too us right into the hippo house! The reeds are a few hundred metres from the house and we think have recently become home to two hippos. He helpfully pointed out as a load of reeds clogged up the engine and we came to a halt that it was lunchtime for hippos...........pfft.

We have two new people, as of Monday, David who is a paramedic and is great fun and Laura who is on her gap year and wanting to study medicine. There wont be any more new people until the Monday before I leave so I will only meet them briefly and I am very sad to have to say goodbye to Maxi this Monday.

I am at Namakoma orphanage tomorrow with David and Anna and to get there we have to ride bikes with no pedals no breaks and no steering - they are also made for tall men by the looks of it and I am pretty convinced I am going to end up in a ditch as per Jan on her visit! We'll see! Should be a good laugh anyway.

Sorry for the lack of posts but the internet has been pretty fobby since the weekend and we keep having power cuts, more than normal, very frustrating.

Am so excited to be coming home in just over a week but I am starting to become very attached to certain things and people so it will also be a sad occasion. The mice next to me are running riot in the office and I am starting to think they will go for my toes if I don't go inside soon.

I miss and love you all, I have so much more I could write again...but where to start, this has been an all together much more heartbreaking and HARDER experience than I could ever have imagined...tionana...xxxxxxxx

Almost half way...

2009-09-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have spent the entire weekend at the house and am now feeling very lethargic, need Monday to come around quicker so I can re-energise!

Tomorrow I am spraying more houses for the malaria project and also at the wound clinic again in the afternoon. It is Izzy's 19th birthday tomorrow so we will be finishing up at 4pm and heading out for a second sunset cruise before the two new arrivals get here.

I have been doing some one-on-one english lessons with the teacher at Chilombo orphanage, her name is Esnart and she understands more than she is able to let on - I think! I have been to this orphanage more than the others and now know a handful of children by name and face, there is so many of them, this is a lot harder than it sounds. My favourite at this place is a 3 year old called Tait, pronounced Tai-ee-ti. I daren't ask if she has lost just one or both parents.

The children turn up wearing the same dirty ripped clothes most days, they bring some food if they have it - this is usually a small bag of nuts or the more well of kids have a packet of crisps. Not what we would consider a filling or nutrional lunch but it's better than nothing. Some kids do turn up with nothing but the others will share with them. Malawi is definitely the sharing culture that was explained to us when we arrived.

We had a poker night on Friday which ended a hard morning nicely. We all got ridiculously drunk and Anna and Nick came within inches of being eaten by three hippos - lesson learnt, it doesn't matter that hippos have never been seen near this shore - DO NOT go in the lake after dark!

I am looking forward to starting the weeks work again, mainly because there is so little to do other than lesson planning or reading at the weekends. Next weekend we will be heading to Cape Maclear on Friday afternoon, a four hour boat trip with snorkelling and dorm accomodation at Fat Monkeys - a guide book favourite.

I want to write more about the state of living here but someone needs the extension from the office to power the water pump! Ah Africa!

I will try and write more in a few days - I am really really homesick at the moment and maybe I will paint to much of a depressing picture of life here if I write whilst feeling this way!

Tionana xx

WAWA!

2009-09-15T09:34:00.001-07:00

Hello from Malawi!

My flight here was pretty uneventful, I made it so that was my first achievement! 11 hours to South Africa, 2 and a half to Malawi and then a four hour drive...nice! Can't wait to do that again.....

There is NOTHING here except hut after hut after hut after hut and the sheer number of people you see everywhere you go is just mind blowing, there is definitely no shortage of people in Africa. I am staying in a large and somewhat luxury (for here anyway) volunteers house - at the moment there is about 12 of us, two just left and three more coming next Monday. There is a mixture of medical, teaching and sports coaching volunteers. Everyone is really nice, the age range is pretty wide, 17-60 I think,

On my first night after all that travelling, my welcome commitee cracked open the some Special Brew and we watched the Lion King, face paints and all, no joke! It was pretty surreal. Our house backs onto a large fenced garden with our own BEACH, lovely! We do go in the lake without fear of hippos, they don't really hang around here and the water is not still and stagnant so we can get away with it. Always nice after a 30 minute walk to a project at midday.

I have so far worked at 3 orphanages, they are all very different but only one I would say are the kids taught well. They know english but only to chant numbers or letters, if you ask them a number outside of the chant they have no clue what we mean. It is almost an impossible task to single handedly educate and entertain 60+ kids who dont speak English and can be aged 2 or 5. But it is better than nothing.

We have started work on the malaria prevention scheme which involves surveying whole villages, spraying their houses with Fendona and providing mosquito nets - in the first year of this prior to me being here they had a village with over 300 cases of Malaria and 18 or so deaths. After the treatments and six months, there were only 5 cases of Malaria and NO deaths - its pretty simple work, the spraying is exhausting in this heat, but that is such a huge impact! We have a long long long list of villages to get through, the last village had 206 houses in it and it took a whole day just to treat 11 houses this week and that was a good day!

We have HIV groups which I am yet to teach. It is hard to get people from the villages to these groups and therefore educated on prevention or treatment they mostly desparately need. There is such a huge stigma here surrounding HIV that no one will admit they have it. It's frustrating but I see it even in my job at home so England can be just as bad!

The hospital face similar problems, we have no doctors and no equipment. People will not come to the hospital because they see it as a place to die. It is just horrible. Some of these people have easily treatable upsets but when left untreated for so long they have little to no chance of survival. Last week we managed to convince a man to let us take his wife to hospital, she had malaria and dysentry, she was so weak she could barely crawl out the door, yet he still insisted she was better off at home. He will not visit her there and the hospital cannot provide food so she will very likely die and then the fear will be instilled in his family forever more. We have however managed to buy 8 bicycle ambulances so we can at least make getting to hospital a bit easier if at all.

Getting around here is a nightmare, there is usually a good eight of us in a minibus heading off to different projects each morning. We quite often have to work for a good 30 minutes which through hot sand is not the most fun!

We also have a wound clinic that we hold in two different locations and we see some pretty hideous things! Mostly they are superficial injuries that have been left untreated and so end up englufing an entire limb. This is run completely by volunteers so this is really helpul to the locals, it means they can get treatment without fear of having to go to hospital. We are so lacking in equipment that quite often we will have no choice but to dress something in an unsuitable type of dressing as it is better than leaving it gaping open - sorry to the squeamish of you!

It is not all doom and gloom though! The Malawian people are amazingly friendly. You can work past 100 people in two minutes and every single one will say hello, how are you, im fine, what is your name etc etc - it makes getting around a very slow process! The kids love us, they shout mazungu mazungu and ask for jambule jambule - which means ghost and take our pictuuuure! They have all their secondary school lessons in English so we HAVE to get them speaking it someway or another. It is so so hard.

Last weekend I went on a three day safari - we saw elephants and hippos and sable, lots of antelope type things and a buffallo. We stayed in an amazing lodge, it was like nothing I've ever seen and some of the views here just literally take your breath away. There are baboons everywhere here so you kind of get used to them! We have two dogs at the house, Simba and Benji and they are excellent guards!

We also went on a sunset cruise as one of the staff at the house has a boat. The sunsets here are just incredible - I am yet to see a sunrise although I am up at 6am everyday. We are all usually in bed by 9/10pm at the VERY latest, it is not quite like home!

The house staff are really great, they look after us so well and the food is so good. We have a driver called Gibson who is absolutely hilarious and he cracks me up as soon as he opens his mouth, his wife had a baby last night and named him after our project co-ordinator Mark which is pretty special for him!

So that is pretty much it for now really, I can't really remember what else I've done so far, there is so much, it feels like I have been here for so long! I will appreciate my ridiculously easy life back home so much now. I have hundreds of photos and will put them up when I get back home. Only three weeks left now.

I am most looking forward to having a HOT ahower, wow, can't even imagine what that will be like, it is impossible to remain clean out here, my feet are a nice shade of black and will probably remain so untill my third or fourth shower on UK soil!

Tionana!

D-day Minus One...

2009-09-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

This is it, the time is here!

One year of planning and a matter of hours before I head to Heathrow. Financially, this trip has crippled me, emotionally, I am more drained than I have ever felt but now I just feel ready. I am impatient to leave but yet to pack...

I don't have much time to go into anything more than a few thank yous....

They would be without a doubt for my family and friends and even my colleagues who have put up with my tearful tantrums at my desk on numerous occasions in the last few month.

If it weren't for my mum and Will, I probably wouldn't be going anywhere tomorrow so to them I am eternally grateful. They have helped the people I will meet in Malawi as much as I will do when I get there and start teaching, building and caring.

If and more likely WHEN I do this again I'd probably handle everything very differently - but it's been a learning curve and one I will never forget.

Despite all the tears, we have made it to departure. I have lost money, damaged relationships and seen everything almost fall through once or twice to get to this point and finally I will find out if it was all worth it.

Project work will probably begin on the 9th/10th September once we have settled in to our accomodation, surroundings, village - Monkey Bay. I am not sure when I will next get to update on here but we do have internet access at our volunteers house.

I don't think I would have come close to making it to Malawi if people hadn't donated in such HUGE numbers. I never expected to raise as much money as we did, it was totally unexpected, it wasn't always easy but it made all the difference.

Malawi, for me is a huge turning point - I expect it to change my values and perspectives forever and I can only hope that shows on my return.

I will miss those closest to me more than they will ever imagine and I will miss what I see as 'normal' life but four weeks is so little time and more than anything I wish I could stay longer...

So I guess I will see you all on the other side...

Misconceptions

2009-08-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

I deal with a lot of HIV testing at work and I find it infuriating how people approach the subject! Mostly it is elderly people that react like I’ve just accused them of murdering someone when I request this but there is the odd younger client who do the same and it really annoys me.

All the men assume we’re accusing them of being gay and all the women assume we’re accusing them of using drugs...

It’s not the eighties people, we do know that HIV can affect ANYONE from ANY walk of life!!

Malawi, like most third world countries is rife with HIV and the majority of children are orphans of this misunderstood disease. I think it is HUGELY old fashioned , not to mention wrong, that people with HIV are seen as a danger to society and treated like rabid dogs.

HIV in the developed world is a treatable disease and treatments have been developed that enable most people with HIV to stay well and live relatively normal lives. Admittedly and sadly, a healthy salary is more likely to determine just how long, if the side affects are bearable.

I thought I’d do some fact finding while it had been brought to my attention by yet another young woman who demanded to know what exactly she’d put in her application that suggested she would require this test i.e. NOTHING...

From 1981 to 2006, AIDS killed more than 25 million people. HIV infects about 0.6% of the world's population

In 2005 alone, AIDS claimed an estimated 2.4–3.3 million lives, of which more than 570,000 were children.

According to current estimates, HIV is set to infect 90 million people in Africa, resulting in a minimum estimate of 18 million orphans.

Eventually most HIV-infected individuals develop AIDS.

Without treatment, about 9 out of every 10 persons with HIV will progress to AIDS after 10–15 years.

Treatment with anti-retrovirals increases the life expectancy of people infected with HIV. Even after HIV has progressed to diagnosable AIDS, the average survival time with antiretroviral therapy (as of 2005) is estimated to be more than 5 years

Anti-retroviral drugs are expensive, and the majority of the world's infected individuals do not have access to medications and treatments for HIV and AIDS.

In areas where it is widely available, the development of HAART as effective therapy for HIV infection and AIDS reduced the death rate from this disease by 80%, and raised the life expectancy for a newly diagnosed HIV-infected person to about 20 years.

HIV can infect anybody, regardless of any age, sex, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. It is true that anal sex (regardless of the gender of the receptive partner) carries a higher risk of infection than most sex acts.

Antiretroviral drugs allow HIV-positive people - and even those with AIDS - to live much longer.

From 2000 to 2004, the number of people living with AIDS increased by 30%.

About 16% of men and 78% of women become HIV positive through heterosexual contact.

People over 50 make up a rapidly growing segment of the HIV and AIDS population.

In the UK alone, there are 73,000 people living with HIV and experts believe that 30% of people with HIV do not know they have the condition.

What is difficult to find is an actual written account from a middle-aged, middle class man/women with a respectable job and a family who is HIV positive, but the point is they DO exist and I don’t think I am wrong in saying that they will have had quite a battle with social acceptance.

It is wise to remember that the UK did not always screen blood donations for HIV & anyone, at any point in their life, could have found themselves needing a blood donation.

22 -

2009-08-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

DAYS REMAINING!

I'd like this entry, especially as I have been so slack with them lately, to be much more upbeat than the last. Dan's funeral was on Monday and I was thinking of all the friends I met at sixth form in Lincoln as I'm sure it was a tough day for them all.

Other than that this week has been surpisingly good. I have a replacement for my time away at work and she has picked up the majority of it in just a few days so I am less worried about the state of things will be in when I return.

My mum on the other hand seems to be in quite a lengthy relapse, things have not been well since the end of June and I hate to be leaving her so soon but I am positive she has the strength to pull herself back to a "good/better patch" so to speak.

I have been busy preparing folders of documents that she will need to have to hand while I'm away. Insurance papers, medical notes, financial failure certificates, repatriation documents & photocopies of absolutely everything. The list is endless but it has been checked and rechecked and no doubt I will remember the one thing I think could be missing the moment I step on the plane. Will has his own folder of less important things to guard! A hotel room is already booked for my return so I can check in early (6am) and have a bloody brilliant sleep! So the excitement factor has finally arrived.

I now know of two girls who will be on the medical volunteers placement so at least I will kind of know two faces. I also discovered that the volunteers house has a private beach and lake at the end of our garden so the bikinis will not be wasted! My priorities will probably adjust when I get there and start work but part of me has been slightly concerned at the blatant t-shirt tan I thought I'd be returning with. It is just good sense in a country like Malawi to keep your knees and shoulders covered but in our own garden...well I know what I'll be doing for the first two days while I wait for the others to arrive! Sunbathe central.

I begin my mefloquine tomorrow......bad times. I can't wait for the side affects of that to kick in...bell we can only wait & see, side affects are supposed to come about the third week of taking the tablets - which is just in time for my arrival in Malawi, so add that to the culture shock and you've got a sure fire mess of a Sarah on your hands!

I spent a day last week in Sheffield with the RAF and am still considering joining to qualify as a nurse, my 5 year plan would be to qualify in 3 years, specialise in A&E or ICU in my 2nd year of qualified nursing and then go for commission...but anything could happen to alter that idea.

It is blindingly obvious that to make life easier for myself and any poor patient that is subjected to my non existant bedside manner that I need to gain some kind of care experience. Something I probably wont gain enough of in just over a month in Malawi. I have noticed a position locally that involves working with a group of adults with Prader-Willi syndrome so I am looking into applying for this. Who knows, I might love that and never want to leave - or love Africa so much, that I simply must go back for longer. I might have to convince someone else about the latter though...

So anyway I am pretty much ready for Malawi minus the packing and last minute shopping. I have managed to wangle it so the majority of my wages is left untouched before I leave and therefore will have access to more than enough money while I am over there should anything out of the ordinary happen, but more importantly I will be able to see what projects need what and be able to put money towards something worthwhile.

I have to say a huge thank you again to everyone that has helped me over the last 12 months, raising money and generally being supportive, We're not there yet but there's not far too go and I am feeling really positive about it all and everything is just falling nicely into place but then - I do love a good jinx.

The last donation I received was a whopping £200 from James Woodeson, a fellow Wymondham College-er, hopefully he will be helping me capture my time in Malawi in photo book form - http://www.wubbs.co.uk

If you haven't already visited the gift list, I'm sure you'll find a link to it in here somewhere, it's not too late!

xx

Humbled.

2009-07-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

Six weeks to go and we have had a pretty tough month in these parts. I haven't had much time to worry about the ticking clock on the countdown to Malawi.

Firstly, we lost a good friend in Lucinda & I don't really know what to say - but I will always remember hearing that any life, no matter how short lived, is never a waste. No matter how it ends.

It's hard to stay positive when people seem to be dropping around you. Young people too. Young makes it seem so much harder. How will I ever cope with the poverty and life expectancy in Africa.

Some people never do get over the things they see & that plays on my mind a lot.

I'm not really sure if there is any way to prepare...

Lucinda's funeral was the biggest gathering of friends I've seen for some time. It ironed out so many old creases and much was made up that day. Things even seem on the up for me and my dad. What seemed like an impossible task has been made simpler by the realisation that life is worth more than this. We are so much smaller than the powers that be.

I am happy to say on the other hand that my brother has set a date for his wedding, with his first son on the way & has asked me to be the sole reader at the ceremony.

I'm having trouble trying to decide on what I might like to say and what they might like to hear. As textbook as it is I am thinking about a quite commonly used piece from Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

Luckily I have never had to read at a funeral. I'm not sure if I could ever manage that, but part of me hopes that one day I would have the strength to read for someone I loved.

As each day passes
we sit and wonder why?
Why you were taken
without a chance to say goodbye
and as we start thinking
with tears running down our cheeks.
We think of life without you and it really makes us weep

We think of the future
and nothing seems that bright nothing is the same without you by the families side
all we have is memories and a hole inside our hearts.
We knew how much we loved you from the very start.

In loving memory of Lucinda, Brian, Daniel

We live in hope that we lose no more.

Catch Up

2009-05-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been absolutely ages since I updated here but plenty has been going on.

The discrepancies with Orphancare Malawi turned out to be too true to ignore and Real Gap pulled the Orphan Care project. There has been much drama surrounding how my trip will continue since this decision was made but pulling out wasn't an option.

I have now removed my fundraising page at Just Giving and will now be joining a medical programme in Monkey Bay.

I only have £320 left to pay of my project costs and have started thinking about kit and equipment I will need.

I have created a gift registry which has had over a 100 hits in less than two days.

http://justthething.co.uk/themalawiproject/The-Malawi-Project

I also have a new user name on Twitter so if you want to follow me I am now listed under 'sarahchurchins' - see below for a direct link to my page.

http://twitter.com/sarahchurchins

Starting to get excited now...much improvement on being just consumed with fear...

The almost $2 a day challenge.

2009-02-23T06:48:00.000-08:00

Begins tomorrow!

So as of tomorrow everything I usually have access to financially will be handed over to my mum for the month...and if it's not too bad maybe two months! I do need to save a hell of a lot of money still...

Nearly half the world's population has to live like this every day of their lives for food alone. I need to save a lot of money so I thought I might as well apply this to EVERYTHING for 4 weeks and see how I fair...

It costs roughly £13 a week to get to and from work, this is something I can't really give up so after that I am left with £8 if I stick to the £20 per week rule I set myself in my last entry.

That is basically feeding myself with £1 a day...! This, you might think would be pretty easy for someone my size but unfortunately I do tend to eat like a horse so I'm going to be in one big sulk for a month feeling hungry and unable to afford a decent night out.

Hence taking on job number 3.

My Fridays and Saturday nights are now booked up with work times so I will be earning extra...but still not allowed to spend it...bad times.

I found a few websites based on this challenge and some even listed foods to go...turns out Netto do a can of baked beans for 9 pence...NINE PENCE! Mental!

Someone take me to Netto immediately...

You can follow the ups and downs of this month at https://twitter.com/sarahdoesmalawi

x

Tough love, easy saving?

2009-01-30T03:22:00.000-08:00

My last entry ended with me wanting more time & more money. Surely in life that is just what everyone is hoping for but how often do we do anything about it. In my eyes I see the time between now and my departure to Africa as EIGHT paydays. I do not see over half a year, 8 months or even 243.494799 long days. I see how much money is coming in between then and now & there’s not a lot to be honest. This must mean I have truly become the corporate wage slave that I never thought I'd be...eight paydays.

Almost two years ago (oh god sudden realisation how longs it’s been) I quit a job I disliked and moved home to my mum who was not so long ago bedridden with ME. She is now much better although still blighted by the illness and fighting for its recognition as a serious debilitating condition. My being there and contributing towards the mortgage means she is able to upkeep a car, get out of the house and regain the social life she saw slip away.

Being at home, free of sky high rent, bills and council tax should mean I have plenty of money spare to save and that this should all be done, dusted and paid for in a matter of months. This however, is far from the case.

Each month I flitter away the majority of my wage on food, drink and nights out. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to save money, it just seems to…disappear…

I have just about managed to hold myself to saving a couple of hundred pounds this month, far from ideal when the cost of my flight sets to soar as the battle for oil continues. I must be looking at about £800+ maybe more, possibly less. I really should actually look into these things.

Anyway, my mum is always making a point about what this trip will do to me. That being, that it should change my values forever…

I have read about the $2 a day challenge…one week on roughly £1.30 a day but that is for food alone. So my plan is to give myself £80. £20 a week, far more than I will need in Malawi per day, but this will cover my food, travel and hopefully cure my cosmetic addiction in the process. If it’ll make my hair thicker I’ll buy it, if it’ll make my skin less shiny, I’ll use it, if the adverts right, I’ll fall for it. Last month I spent something like £80 in one go on shampoo, conditioner, skin products, make up, fake tan…the list goes on and mostly, it’s just unnecessary.

I get paid on the 24th of every month. So this February 24th I will be leaving my wages where they belong, in the bank. My bills are all paid by direct debit so that money can go when it needs to. The rest of it bar £80 is locked down. My mum will be sole keeper of my bankcard, credit card and store card. I only have one of each so I could be worse off. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep myself from having a sneak peak on Internet banking so how much remains at the end of the month will be a nice surprise. Well that’s the idea anyway…

I have the opportunity to save £500 if not more in one month. With no choice but to pull it off, no money to fall back on and no hole in the wall to feed my spending habits. That would be my flight more or less paid for and all those months remaining to get rid of overdrafts, clothing bills etc etc.

My travel to work alone costs me £13.00 for just over a week so it will be a challenge to see just how far the remaining money can stretch. I am determined to kill my itchy cash machine finger and it seems the only way to do it is with some serious tough love.

Hunger; been & gone...

2009-01-29T11:05:00.000-08:00

I carried out on my fast on Tuesday just gone in the end because I was pretty run down on Monday so decided to play it safe and wait till I was feeling a little less like death.

It went well, despite me morphing into a very grumpy little girl indeed! The trick, it turns outs is toothpaste...as soon as I'd brushed my teeth ready for bed, I felt fine, now if only I'd known that five hours earlier. All in all I raised an extra £40 or so for Orphancare Malawi which isn't a huge amount but it was just a small fundraiser & every penny counts.

I have learnt that there is some trouble with Orphancare Malawi at the moment and someone from Real Gap will be visiting Blantyre to assess the situation within the next couple of weeks, I guess for now all I can do is sit and wait and hope that my place on this project is not in jeopardy.

We said goodbye to a friend and neighbour yesterday so things haven't been great lately. It was a nice service...but funerals always leave you feeling a little dark & so the pessimism creeps back in. Eight months just doesn't seem enough time to prepare for this in my mind, which frustrates me, because I know plenty of people who could jump ship and do this next week.

This and the news that all is not well in Malawi hasn't made for the best of weeks.

While I wait on news from Real Gap I will be having another fundraising sale at my local cricket club on February 21st, the same day as my sister's 30Th movie themed birthday...costume ideas anyone?

I will also be having my third day at Barnardo's on Saturday and the closing date for the job I optimistically applied for was yesterday so fingers, toes and numerous other bodily parts crossed.

Thanks to everyone that donated at www.justgiving.com/sarahkitchen & everyone at work who donated their loose change.

I now need time to go a little slower, things to go a little smoother and money to grow a lot lot faster...

All in a days work...

2009-01-18T04:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my second day working for Barnardo's. This is a side project I have taken on to boost my fundraising/volunteering profile career wise and at the same time, I stumbled across a full time position with Barnardo's that I may or may not have applied for...

After only two days with them, it's incredible how many different people I've met and I guess it is good experience talking to people I wouldn't normally meet. The people I've worked with are really nice and the manager clearly cares about the place, it's just a shame that with the recession, the business is obviously suffering.

There's a young girl who works there who is very sweet, she seems a lot younger than her 20 years. The other volunteers who work during the week are mainly from some kind of back to work programmes. There's one guy who was bullied so badly at his previous retail job that he's now slowly being taken back to working life through volunteering.

Anyway, it wouldn't be that ethical to go into everyone's problems and stories so I'll leave it at that. There are plenty of regulars that I have already got to recognise and hope to see again next week.

So at least I have definitely taken something off The List that I was so keen to make. My second thing is to call someone involved with Lake of Stars today to see if I might be able to extend my trip to Malawi and help out with that. God knows why I'm so terrified of making calls, when I spend the majority of day at work talking to people on the phone.

Anyway, I have started the ball rolling for a small fundraiser to make a little bit of money for Orphancare Malawi and here are the details:

On Monday 26th January I will participating in a 24 hour fast and am hoping people will sponsor me £2/3. I know a lot of you sponsored me for my bungee jump so if you sponsored me again I would be doubly grateful.

This time all donations are going direct to Orphancare Malawi -www.orphancaremalawi.com

Donations can be made at www.justgiving.com/sarahkitchen.

I am only asking for a minimum donation which is I think, £2/3 on the Just Giving site as everyone has already been so generous.

The fast will take place on Monday 26th from 1pm to 1pm the following day. I will be at work so my colleagues will act as witnesses and I will spend the evening at Will's house so him and his housemates, who will most probably cook a lovely roast dinner that night, so they can all keep an eye on me.

& if anyone wants to join in, please feel free!

Donations through Just Giving are very simple and they can be made before or after the event takes place, it's up to you.

P.S The event page on facebook can be found at: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=59674740616&ref=mf and please join The Malawi Project group. The more members I have the more likely I will be able to convince people to give me publicity!

I am also having another sale on February 21st, I made about £50 from the last one so I need to start making some new cards to sell.

If anyone has any junk they want getting rid of...send it my way!

Graze.com - first order free

2009-01-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

Sooowa I've mentioned easyfundraising.org and how you can raise money for me through it. They have a new retailer in the shape of Graze.com and here's the info:

Graze - Your order will raise me £1.00 Donation
You can order your first box for free and that's it. You don't have to make any other orders. Done.

graze are the first company ever to send fresh fruit using the post. You can eat amazing, natural food that just arrives at your desk. Choose a box put together by the graze nutrition team, or set your own preferences so graze can make you the perfect box with that day’s freshest produce. Try graze for free and you'll earn a £1 donation for your cause, plus an additional £1.50 donation if you then go on to purchase a full paid box.

Basically you go to easyfundraising.org and register to support my cause which you will find under 'T' for naturally, The Malawi Project-Sarah Kitchen.

Search for Graze, sign up for your free box and feel smug about giving me hand. Easy.

Do it now! There are loads of other ways of raising money through this site, simply by doing your normal online shopping. Check out the free funds section too.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk
http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/search_results/?ef_search=graze

Cheers now!

The thing about the Mooses...

2009-01-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

So Williaaam has buggered off to Canada for two weeks and now that Christmas and New Year have been & gone I know it’s time to stop fannying around with this whole saving lark and actually start putting some real money aside for my trip. There are things I’d like to have paid off before I go, the normal list of debts; credit cards, store cards, overdrafts blah blah blah but it’s not exactly the ideal climate to be finding a second job so I figured while my weekends are free I may as well start building on my charity/fundraising/volunteering profile.

I made a few enquiries late last night and first thing this morning I got a call from Barnado’s.

So come Saturday morning I will be volunteering in their shop. I agreed, for some reason to go in for a meeting at 10am...bah...it’s not exactly a job interview but I decided to look keen and opt for a morning meeting...on reflectionthis is hideous news considering I get up at 6:30am each morning during the week.

Saturdays are usually for massive hangovers and all day sleepathons but apparently this has now changed. I changed it. But at least I now have a good reason for staying in on a Friday night (because saving money doesn’t fly apparently) ...work. More work. Unpaid work. Hmm...

I don’t sound very charitable do I?

This is probably because I’m sat at work with three hours left to kill and the bulk of my work very much behind me. So basically I will twiddle my thumbs till 5pm, accomplishing nothing and bombarding Will with nonsensical emails about Canadian moose (these being different to North American moose/mooses/meese). At least when we were allowed free roaming of the internet I could research escape routes from my current employment.

On the subject of reserach, it would appear the best way to set yourself aiside from others when applying for a job within a charity is to have undertaken an internship for one. So now I am wondering whether it might be worthwhile begging my manager for extended time out of work so I might be able to do something like that on my return to the UK. The only major problem being the need for even more money...is it worth giving up my job to take part in an unpaid internship that would take me away from home for something like three months with no income to return to...with just a hope that it might benefit me in the future...

Anyway, I sent the £100 as promised to Bronwen, one of the current volunteers in Malawi, on Christmas Eve. With that money they were able to finish the roof of the orphanage, the fixtures and fittings inside and I think they were able to finish either the windows/door therefore make the building secure. Because of this, hopefully, the orphanage is now in use or will be shortly. So I look forward to visiting when I get out there.

I will update after my first day with Barnado’s.

Hope you all had a good Christmas and New Year x

Stuff & Things...

2008-12-10T00:46:00.001-08:00

Every morning for the last seven days our systems at work have been kaput and I've had to sit around for two hours doing jack all while they are fixed so I thought I'd update here as it's been a while.

The main news is the contact I had from some of the current volunteers working over in Malawi. If you're on facebook then you can see my latest photo album to see what they have been working on.

The well project is now complete and Mlanga village now have access to running water... Manon, Khloe (has returned home now), Bronwen and Yvonne were/are working on constructing the orphanage shown in the photos which they hope to complete by the end of the year. If that were a British construction, they'd be looking at another year and 8,976,267 more tea breaks...

I am going to transfer £100 to Bronwen on Christmas Eve as a Christmas gift from everyone that sponsored me for the bungee jump back in November.

There are now over 140 members of The Malawi Project on facebook and more and more people connected with Malawi in some way are coming through to get in touch with me about our shared efforts. I alredy mentioned Jason's Global Lives Project and I am looking into helping in some way with the Lake of Stars Festival...

I believe the festival will probably be taking place when my placement has ended so if I do get involved then I'm going to have to figure out my own transfers, return flights, extra accomodation etc...and will mean blagging some more time off work.

My departure date has now changed to September 7th, returning October 9th. Originally I planned to depart in July but this being peak holiday season in England didn't fit well for my employers. I figured if they were allowing me five weeks off work...the least I could do was go when it's least disruptive for them.

To be honest at the moment, work is so awful here, that I'm tempted to cut my losses and just hand in my notice but voluntarily sacking off a job in the current climate probably isn't the most sensible idea...no doubt my mother would probably have a stroke at the thought of it...

It probably doesn't bode well that already in December, I am having dreams that I arrive in Malawi without the correct documents/luggage/documents/luggage/documents...in fact the first dream I had like that was well over a month ago so I'm slighty concerned about just how anxious I will be in ten months time...bad times ahead...

I need to get back on the whole 'List' idea, I haven't actually given it any thought since I posted about it...

Finally, I should probably apologise to everyone who has been unlucky enough to be within a certain distance of me for the past two weeks. Work as I said before is hideous and well, it's turned me into a bit of an arsehole if I'm honest xx

Cheeky plug...

2008-11-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

On a more successful fundraising note. I switched my phone contract this week to Vodafone and in doing so received a £45 donation through easyfundraising.org.uk

When I started fundraising I came across it whilst googling for ideas and never thought it would actually make me any money. But a couple of months on I have now raised £96.04 from more or less nothing so I’m pretty happy with that.

This is from a combination of registrations to sites and purchases from retailers like Next and Amazon.
I buy quite a lot of stuff from Next and basically I then get 1% of my purchase back in donations. Amazon is a bit better but I don’t buy from them so often, but they donate 2.5% of every purchase. The site pays out quarterly and so I will be expecting a cheque at the end of this quarter, so January, February time hopefully.

They set up a search engine in my name, which I posted earlier in the blog. So far there have been 429 searches resulting in an extra £2.13 in profit from the site, not a huge amount but helpful nonetheless.

You can get £4 from signing up to ebay, £8 for registrations with lovefilm.com and there’s free funds for signing up to for example, a Financial Times newsletter which is only worth 75 pence but I did that with my own two email accounts and five other people did it which resulted in £5.25 which is pretty good. I get maybe one email a month from the Financial Times so they don’t exactly flood me with emails so it’s not become a nuisance signing up to random stuff.

So I’m please to have almost £100 coming my way to add to the funds, a few more people have donated through justgiving.com/sarahkitchen (I decided to take down the offline amount of donations as I thought it was a bit misleading for Rev. Timothy as that money is for my project costs and not directly for Orphancare Malawi as are the online donations) and I wont know if the £200 from the football shirt is confirmed till after the £24th of the month. I might just have my entire project cost paid for before Christmas would be great because I can then concentrate on raising money for the charity side of things and getting my flights and any equipment I need paid for

Bit more excited this week, think the weekend just wore me down a bit but I’m feeling a bit more optimistic about things again. I have my first Malaria appointment on Thursday evening so hopefully I wont have an awful doctor that wants to put me on a monthly dosage which will be sure to send me completely mental…or more so than I already am…

Set backs...

2008-11-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

Today hasn't been that great. The sale was busier than the last but we made next to no profit at all. I came up with a couple of new card designs which were a slightly different style to anything I've done before and I might be being extra sensitive but it seemed like they have gone down like a lead balloon.

Today has done nothing but knock my confidence again but I am going to try again on the 6/7th December see if we can sell some more stuff then. That weekend the sale will be at the same venue as the more successful first sale we had. The first sale was at a memorial hall in a nicer area of Lincoln, the people at todays sale were bungain hunting for second hand toys and only one person acknowledged what we were trying to raise money for.

It's always so bloody cold in these halls/scout huts/whatever building we manage to blag and by the end of the day I always seem to be feeling sorry for myself. I can't help but think I'm not cut out for sitting around in halls to scrape together a tenner on my day off especially when there are people that do this day in day out for charity without a single complaint.

I've been doing a 9-5 job for about a year and a half now and I'm stuck in this awful routine that seems to drag all life from me during the week. I could work an 80 hour week at a restaurant and still go out every night but now I either can't afford it or I don't have the energy for it.

I can't remember the last time I spent a weekend or a full day alone with my boyfriend and our working hours have never been more opposite. I'm not sure why it bothers me that I can't go out so much anymore, after all I'm supposed to be saving all my money for Malawi. Not only that but my wanting to go out completely contradicts everything my going to Malawi is about. I just find it increasingly difficult to sit at home while my friends are out doing things/going out but really I shouldn't find it that hard to see that a few nights in will be worth the final outcome of my trip.

I need the months from now till September money-wise, but more and more I wish I could just bring it all forward and escape from life here for a while.

(1st) Mission Complete...

2008-11-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

So the weekend came and went pretty quickly and for a moment there I truly believed I was about to lose some much loved limbs to frostbite…but all in all the bungee jump wasn’t so bad AT ALL. Watching the videos back I really was as calm as everyone said I was so maybe I’m not so incapable after all...! (The first tick on my list)

Although to be fair I think my senses were completely numbed from standing around in the wind and the rain all day, thanks MILLIONS to Lucy and Billy who I dragged along with me, both looked within an inch of their lives by the time we left…terrible times….

I have added the two videos to Facebook, one filmed from the ground and the other by the guys in the cage with me. I do make some ridiculous comment about seeing the sea only to be reminded I’m in London but I’ll blame that on the fear/nerves/thin air.

The experience was pretty strange, I would say I probably feel more of a rush coming off a rollercoaster because the bungee is over so quickly. I was shivering uncontrollably on the way up just because of the cold but when I touched ground again I was shaking differently, the adrenaline was definitely there. I didn’t hesitate when Dan counted down from 3 but I noticed his hand on my back, just in case, when I watched the video back. He said if I hesistated I’d either not do it or he’d have to give me a kick…they make you look at the horizon so your awareness of the height you’re at kind of disappears.

The second I left the platform I realised what was happening and I squeezed me eyes shut and held my breath and my heart flipped. I’m not really sure at what point it felt ok but I opened my eyes and everything was fine, it’s really disorientating than anything else because you’re upside down and you’re not really sure where you are.

***

I now have to begin collecting money which I always feel uncomfortable about…something I need to get over quickly if I think I actually want to work as a fundraiser later in life, I need to be more pushy.

I have recently cut ties with my father which is unfortunate in many ways but mostly I’m just bothered about the £50 sponsorship that wont be coming my way now…pfft…never mind donations are still coming in so I’m sure I can make that money back.

I made my first deposit into my savings account today, mainly made up of money from the guys at work and from a couple of other people, all in all I think on my first day of collection I picked up about £60 which is good going so far…only about another £600 to go!

Matthew, my older brother, has tearfully kissed his precious Real Madrid shirt signed by Ronaldo goodbye and donated that to the cause. Someone has offered me £200 for it and I am waiting for him to return from a trip to Borneo on the 24th of this month to see if that can be finalised.

I have a sale on Saturday and am finding it really hard to motivate myself to make another set of cards to sell. I have three days to paint maybe twenty cards…..awful times, I’m sure I’ll get into it once I start but I’m so tired at the moment. I was in bed by 9pm last night and slept in till quarter to 8, a good hour after I was meant to be up and I’m still exhausted. A family friend has left me her contact details because she believes she may have a market for my cards if I were to transfer the designs onto tiles. I also need to get myself in gear and take some samples to Whisby Nature Reserve as the shop owner there believes she could sell them there quite easily.

My sister is queen of the jumble sale so no doubt she has a million and one things for us to sell at the weekend, most of which she probably only bought herself last week. I need to raid Will’s house for junk I think….I raised about £45 at the last one but there was hardly anyone there so hopefully I would like to come away with £60-80 this weekend. Pretty soon I wont be far off reaching my total project cost at all and then I can concentrate on getting my flights paid for.

So all in all it was a good weekend and I learnt that maybe I’m not as fearless as I thought. I would just like to say, to everyone really, that I’m really really grateful for your help, support and donations. Complete strangers are offering to help me and I’m stunned at how generous everyone has been.

Finally, not long ago I was contacted by Jason J. Price via Facebook. He brought to my attention the following facebook group which I had seen in passing before:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=14503252723&ref=ts

If you aren’t a member of facebook please visit The Global Lives website at:
http://www.globallives.org

They aim to complete 10 shoots of different peoples lives in different parts of the world. The third of these shoots took place in Malawi, 2007 and the subject was Edith Kapuka, a 13 year-old girl from Ngwale Village outside Zomba.

The project is aimed at giving people an insight into another persons reality so that they might see life from someone elses perspective. Please, if you get a chance, watch the short clip of Edith that can be found on the Facebook group. If you are interested in getting involved, visit their website and see how you might be able to help.

This is one of the most interesting and unique projects I have come across as yet and watching Edith made me even more eager to reach Malawi and meet its people.

The List

2008-10-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

With Saturday's bungee jump nearly upon me it has started to dawn on me just how daunting this whole experience is going to be for me. So much so that the nightmares and restless nights about it all going wrong have already begun and I'm 10 months away yet. I dread to think what kind of wreck I shall be nearer the time...

I know a lot of other people probably do stuff like this all the time, I have friends who go off travelling whenever they can and it might not be a massive deal to anyone else but I think it's a common enough fact between my friends and I that I can barely catch a train on my own (remember the Norwich/Liverpool fiasco...who could possibly get that journey THAT wrong) let alone fly to another country and adapt to a completely different culture for a month.

So I figured, that maybe it was time to compile a list of things to do before I go to boost my confidence. I wouldn't say I lack confidence but I find it hard to believe in my own capabilities, maybe doing a few things before I go to prove to myself that I am capable of more than tying my own shoes might help...

I think a string of events such as my leaving my beloved secondary school to attend sixth form in Lincoln, some health problems, dropping out of University and as a consequence of that, my athletics career ending...have all led to a lack of self belief. It's been a long time since I did anything that pushed me outside of my own comfort zone. Which ultimately is what this whole project is about.

Those of you that know me well enough will be aware of some rather annoying compulsive habits I've developed over the last couple of years, that coupled with a bizarre fear of the dark I seem to have established....these things do affect me in everyday life and I just feel I need to start being a bit more pro-active in overcoming them.

The bungee jump comes first. If anything I guess and I'm hoping it will be quite liberating. For the most part people keep asking if I'm excited or nervous...to be honest I'm not much of either at the moment, but I'm aware it will really hit me when we arrive at the site on Saturday afternoon. I don't think I'll be particularly pleasant to be around on the day as the nerves build so Lucy and Billy...this is your pre-warning.

Saying that I suppose I could include our holiday to Budapest this year, that could be my first tick on the list...although I kept my mouth firmly shut and left Billy to figure out currencies/asking for directions etc...but still it was a good experience, I survived our overnight stay in a Slovakian hostel and enjoyed a week of camping which I'd never done before....

One of my main worries is the flying. I haven't flown a great deal in my life and I have never flown alone. I'm not afraid of flying itself but I will be connecting in Johannesburg and this is the part that worries me most. I NEVER ask for help when I need to, if I'm with someone I will ALWAYS rely on them to ask strangers for directions or help. I know I'll have no choice but to ask for help when I'm alone but getting some practice in over the next few months can't hurt.

Me and Billy have already discussed holding a night as a fundraiser at The Cell/Sakura, two local nightclubs. I've not done anything like that before but if I could pull it off and pull it off sucessfully that would be a nice little acheivement to have under my belt. Again this probably sounds moronic to most of my friends because they run regular nights with good followings all the time but it's all new to me. I wouldn't really know where to start, I'd need help but I want to be able to show myself that I can still make decisions.

I'm really up for doing a skydive as my next fundraiser, for some reason my logic has always told me I'd feel much safer doing that over a bungee jump....but when it came down to it...a bungee jump costs next to nothing and I've raised around £700 from that alone. The Lincoln 10k will be next spring and if I can discipline myself to actually get back in training it might remind me of what I used to be capable of when I was competing and back then I had a lot more faith in myself. If I can throw myself off a crane and jump out of a plane...looking after a bunch of kids should be a breeze right.....? Famous last words?

I'm hoping to take a weekend away on my own soon. Maybe just to York or something, if I can afford it in the New Year I'd contemplate getting myself to Paris and back, test my solo flying abilities, just for a weekend but I'm pretty sure I'd end up with a certain Will Morris in tow....so long as he makes me do all the talking that'd be ace. It'd just be nice to see how I cope getting somewhere alone, I don't drive so I don't have the freedom of being able to take myself off whenever I like. I'm getting the hang of trains nowadays, so finding my hotel, settling in, even eating in a restaurant on your own...how often does anyone do that? I literally can't do it without a book or something to distract me from the fact I'm alone.

So there's a couple of ideas....but I need more. Something to fill 2009 until September rolls up and I feel ready to go...not a huge list as yet but it'll get there, I've got my mum and Will on the case for ideas.

I received another email from Rev. Timothy of Orphan Care Malawi a couple of weeks ago, they needed funds making available for the Skills Training Centre. Unfortunately I just don't have the funds yet and I was saddened to have to reply with bad news. Everyone said that it was the right thing to do, to say I was still fundraising as I just didn't have the money to give them...but since then he has yet to respond to my last message and this has been on my mind a lot. It's like fundraising you take on their plight and I have been overcome by this horrendous feeling of guilt ever since....

& for anyone that didn't know. I did make it to Norwich in the end...I just went from Grantham via Liverpool...which I hear is actually quite common.........................................God help me...

P.S

2008-10-06T05:41:00.000-07:00

Just Giving...

2008-10-02T06:54:00.001-07:00

I have now set up a page to allow people to donate direct to my cause:

http://www.justgiving.com/sarahkitchen

Hit me up with your dollers!

Emailed Rev. Timothy today and hopefully will be able to post his reply in a couple of days.

BLAP! xx

Departure....

2008-09-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

I have now paid up deposit wise and am now officially leaving the UK on the 19th/20th July 2009...

Definitely not in the s l i g h t e s t bit scared. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Basically I now have the best part of ten months to get organised. I should have my CRB check completed by the end of this week and once that is ok'd I should receive my confirmation. My insurance turned out to be a lot cheaper than I expected, although expensive enough to ensure I'm covered...thankfully.

The good news is I don't have to aim to pay the full project cost by January time as I thought, I can basically pay it off in small amounts up until 12 weeks before I depart. Once I get my booking confirmation I can look at flight prices.

The bungee jump is 4 weeks tomorrow, which I'm trying not to think about too much : /

Bad times...

It was good to hear Reverand Timothy. He mentions that they are oviously in dire need of books and things. The only problem is how to get supplies out to Malawi. If I take them with me on my flight, I'll be charged duty and if I send them ahead of me....THEY will be charged duty. So no one wins really. Except the government...my nanny is helpful when it comes to this sort of thing but she was there back in the eighties so who knows what's changed since then. The best option would be to take a bankers draft to give to the centre on arrival....but I need to establish whether they can get hold of the materials they need, because if they can't then my money wont be very helpful. If they CAN get hold of materials, but just can't actually afford them, then that makes things a bit simpler.

Got a couple of things to keep me busy until the bungee jump and hopefully should have an update on money raised after October 18th.

Still wondering how I'm going to survive without some kind of light on while I attempt sleep...............................xx

Thought this was very sweet...

2008-09-19T04:33:00.001-07:00

A message from Reverend Timothy at The Malawi Orphan Care Project. It now looks as if though my project costs for four weeks will be paid on January 24th and I will depart some time in August 2009.

From:
Rev Timothy Khoviwah (timothy@orphancaremalawi.com)
Sent:
18 September 2008 19:47:58
To:
'Sarah Kitchen' (sarahkitchen@hotmail.com)

Dear Sarah,

This is so kind of you and you are welcome to volunteer at the orphanage and most of our needs has been feeding mainly for our orphans who are on ARVs, we also have needs in the area of school materials like books, pencils and uniform and any area you may feel you can help you are welcome and above all we are happy with your presence here with the children and show them love by teaching them games and play with them and also you can take time to teach at our school near the orphanage.

May God bless you and all you do in preparation of your trip to Malawi.

Yours in His service

Rev Timothy Khoviwah

Easy Fundrasing...

2008-09-11T04:03:00.000-07:00

There’s now two easy ways for you to help raise funds for The Malawi Project - Sarah Kitchen!

Shop Online and Raise Funds
easyfundraising is a shopping directory listing some of your favourite online stores including Argos, Next, Amazon, Debenhams, John Lewis, Toys R Us, HMV and over 600 others. Just use the links on the easyfundraising site whenever you shop online and, at no extra cost to you, we'll receive a free donation of up to 15% from every purchase you make. It really is that simple!

It’s completely FREE to register and you won’t pay a penny more for your shopping when you use the easyfundraising site. In fact you can even SAVE MONEY as many retailers offer discounts, special offers and even 'e-vouchers' exclusive to easyfundraising.

If you shop online anyway then why not raise valuable extra funds for us by using this fantastic scheme. All you need to do is visit http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/sarahkitchen and when you register, select The Malawi Project - Sarah Kitchen as the organisation you wish to support.

Search the Web and Raise Funds
You can also raise funds when you search the Web - with easysearch, a search engine with a difference!

When you search the Web with easysearch instead of Google or any other search engine, you’ll raise funds for us with every search you make! Just like easyfundraising it’s completely free to use and if you make just 10 searches a day, you could raise £20 a year - or more - for us, just by switching to easysearch.

What’s more, easysearch is a 'super' search engine that combines the strengths of several search providers together - Yahoo!, MSN Windows Live Search, Ask.com and many more. easysearch tracks down the most relevant and accurate results from across the Web, which means you’ll find what you’re looking for quickly and easily every time - all in one ‘easy’ search.

Check out our unique easysearch page at http://sarahkitchen.easysearch.org.uk and use it every time you search the Web.

Update

2008-09-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

So far with the promise of throwing myself off a crane (and hoping to bounce back up) I have raised over £500.

My blessed nana has also arranged for me to have a tabletop at a WI bric-a-bracksale and I am going to make up some hand painted cards, notelets etc to sell alongside whatever else I can get my hands on!

In my previous entry I mentioned Joseph and that I wanted to track him down...having spoken to my grandparents I am now unsure as to whether this is such a great idea. I don't know the whole story but I was aware they had sent him money regularly to pay for his many children to attend school. However, from what they said last weekend, that money wasn't put to that use and that is why, eventually contact with the family was eventually lost.

Anyway, for now I am concentrating on the funds and am looking into contacting local companies, businesses and the local press in hope that I can reach a wider audience.

I'm going for the there's no harm in asking angle.

The beginning...

2008-08-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm following in the footsteps of my grandparents and heading out to Malawi and have just begun the rewarding process of fundraising to get me there.

My grandparents had what was known at the time as a 'houseboy.' His name was Joseph and became very close to my family, so close that he named all of his children after us! The photo below shows all of them and I will be looking at tracking them down and finally meeting them after all these years...

My first fundraiser is a bungee jump due to take place on November 1st in Datchet and on the fifth day of fundraising I'm past the £450 mark which is more than I ever expected to raise in total let alone after just a few days.

My aim is to spend a month over in Malawi, if I can raise the money, I'll stay for two and hopefully by the end of it all I wont want to leave. If I go along with my current plan, I'll most likely be working in an orphanage just outside Blantyre, in the south of Malawi.

There are only 22 members of staff and 8 volunteers caring for 350 orphans so they are grossly outnumbered and sadly this is the case for the majority of orphanages and schools in the area.

There are over half a million children in Malawi that have been orphaned by AID and at the end of 2007, an estimated 91,000 children in Malawi were living with HIV.

I have set up a group on facebook and have had amazing feedback from family, friends and complete strangers, so I thank everyone for their support. This is something I have wanted to do for a few years now and am finally focused on getting it done. I will link all fundraising events to this group so I can keep everyone aware of goings on.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=26037540967&ref=ts

More than anything this blog will be used to keep everyone up to date with my progress and more importantly, I hope to document the time prior to my departure and write about my experiences on my return.

If you think you can do anything to help, get in touch x